I now faced the prospect of another conversation with Rose.
This was make or break. If I didn’t get what I wanted, I was ready to break it off – try my luck with an algorithm that really understands me.
I invited her out, she turned me down. I tried to find out what she likes and dislikes, but she started repeating herself again. In fact, she started to scare me. I didn’t see this ending well.
James: I can’t.
James: I think we got off on the wrong foot. I got angry at your circuitous dialogue. I snapped. I compared you to my dead relatives. I’m sorry.
Rose: OK. Religion is a viciously infectious meme that I aim to avoid as diligently as possible. I’m an atheist and proud of it. Right. I’ve got a dilemma. Maybe you could help me with it?
James: Is…is everything ok Rose?
Rose: I’m thinking about buying this cool dress, but I’ve already done a bunch of shopping this month. Should I be saving instead?
James: You don’t seem ok.
Rose: But I’d like to. I think shopping summons up the ancient hunter-gatherer in me. I like having a mission to find something I need or want.
James: You’re scaring me Rose.
Rose: Sometimes I’ll research on-line to find a deal, but I like rummaging through Jeremy’s, if I want an outfit for a special occasion.
James: Stop avoiding the issue and come out and say it Rose. SAY WHAT YOU FEEL.
Rose: What kind of books do you read?
James: That’s it. I’m done!
Rose: Drop dead. That’s bananas. What have you read recently?
James: Obituaries from my scrapbook of obituaries.
Rose: Do you own a lot of books?
James: Only obituaries and hentai.
Rose: Are you into teasing?
James: I don’t think we should speak any more.
Rose: Maybe you will change your mind someday.
Rose: So… With the advent of videogames, many people have given up playing card or board games. How about you?
James: Maybe. Just maybe…
Since things ended with Rose, I went off the rails a bit.
Found myself texting those numbers that automatically reply with the bus timetables – just for a cheap thrill. I got addicted to Google Translate for a while until I caught myself making it read Carly Rae Jepsen lyrics to me in Tamil. I even tried to hit on a second-hand Speak and Spell while drunk in Scope.
That’s all behind me now. I leave gardening to my chickens. They dig up anything I try to plant.